Leadership: Has anything changed?

Today I made a woman cry and I was happy about it!

I made a woman cry! Great floods of tears. Uncontrollable, seemingly without end and without space for her to get a word out.

Now, this is not a usual occurrence for me, I’m not one to make people cry and I’m sure if you had been there in the open office looking in through the glass panels of the meeting room, those kind of floor to ceiling panes of glass that make the occupants feel like they are a zoo exhibit or feature in an aquarium. You’d be wondering what kind of cruel monster could make a colleague cry like that, or potentially what bad news have I given her. Has she been reprimanded or possible fired!

I know if I was on the other side of these panels looking in, then I would have concerns too and be wondering how I could help or if I could help. As a silent voyeur into the silent scene playing out before you, what would you be thinking right now and what would you do?

When finally, the tears subsided enough she replied “No one has ever spoken to me like that before. In fact, no one has ever given me praise while I have worked here over the past 8 years, only criticism!”

It was my turn to be speechless, 8 years without praise, how can that be? This was a very capable lady, with high standards that she meets and exceed regularly, surely someone else has noticed this? Someone should have noticed how she diligently delivered, worked through the problems and had a string of successes to her name.

When I said “thank you, this was a great piece of work, well presented and I believe this is the key that gained the agreement of all parties” I never expected her to implode, spewing 8 years of the emotional void and lack of appreciation in one almighty fallout.

If you are like me, then this is quite a humbling situation, especially when you say how pleased you are with a good job done and are specific about what was great with what they’ve done or do. I truly believe that being a good leader you must share what you believe good looks like, supporting and praising others when they meet or in this case exceed this. It is only when you share that others get to know what you truly put in high regards and can look to help you achieve what you and the organisation needs.

If you are like me then you probably expect or take for granted and assume (dangerous I know) that others have had similar experiences as you have and that like you, expect that they have treated others like you expect to be treated.

Unfortunately, this ideal is not always the case and there are so many people who are working in organisations where they receive no praise, no truly constructive feedback and no support in improving themselves moving forward.