Be Kind to Yourself: Navigating Self-Bullying During National Bullying Awareness Month

This article was originally published on LinkedIn Pulse.

If you are not aware, October is National Bullying Awareness Month. Bullying can come in many forms these days. Cyber bullying, in-person and even consistent discrete jabs from your loved one’s can take a toll. However, I want to discuss “self-bullying” today. There was a nice segment on the Today Show this morning with Savannah Guthrie interviewing Monica Lewinsky. Discussing self-bullying. Listening reminded me of the harsh words and self-doubt that creeps into my mind at times. If you’ve ever met me in person, you most likely would find that hard to believe. I do come across as a positive person that knows his stuff. I’ll even go as far to say that at times I can be thought of as being a bit arrogant. And, I’ll agree with that.

I know my job and how to excel at it. I am a subject matter expert when it comes to it. Not being arrogant, just confident in my skill set. But there are times, plenty of them, when I internally yell, cuss and get mad at myself for mistakes or anything else random that truly does not mean anything. Regardless how small and insignificant they may be. The ones that no one else notices except me, those get to me the most. Why? Well, that’s the million-dollar question.

Dr. Marina Nani, has a wonderful article published on Rich Woman Magazine’s website called “From Self-doubt To Self-awareness: What You Don’t Know About Yourself?” (Feb. 28, 2023). She says “it’s important to remember that self-doubt is not necessarily a reflection of reality. Your thoughts and feelings are not always accurate representations of the world around you. It’s important to question your self-doubt and challenge its validity.” This is something I had to learn to do. Our minds are amazing and powerful things and with that they can create some amazing and powerful falsities about ourselves.

I remember when I first saw the job posting for the role I am currently in now, I got super excited and said to myself “I know that stuff inside and out and all around!” Then at the end of the position title was “Executive.” I froze and immediately went to that negative place that takes up space in our minds. I thought that there is no way that I am executive material. I’m just a common bloke that just happens to know a bit about the After-Action Review. I closed the tab on my computer and finished eating my lunch.