A QUANTUM THEORY OF BREXIT
As the Event Horizon Telescope (EHT) releases the first ever photo of Brexit, John McMenemie theorises the quantum mechanics behind it.
3 years ago, it was 2016. David Cameron was prime minister and he was shouting at Jeremy Corbyn for not wearing a tie properly. It was serious stuff.
That the leader of Her Majesty’s opposition could appear at the dispatch box so casually, was cause for much heated debate. On one side, people bemoaned Corbyn’s tawdry appearance as a metaphor for the state of the nation; On the other, it was more about “where you’re at, not what you’re wearing.”
Well, just as we were all getting settled into a high minded debate about these important issues, almost totally out of the blue, “Call Me Dave” decided to call something known as a “referendum” to defend his government’s tenuous grasp on power from the ever growing purple faced farce that was UKIP, and it backfired, spectacularly.
Or did it?
You see, there’s a theory that suggests that everything that can happen, does happen. Every junction in reality creates more realities, as every possibility is realised in different, parallel timelines. Billions upon billions, infinite universes, each one as valid and real as all the others, as ours. Every decision anyone makes – or doesn’t make – becomes reality in some other universe, like a tangential fractal, beyond perception, infinite universes all different to the one that we exist inside, each creating billions of different realities every microsecond. Fascinating, terrifying, maybe even comforting to some – perhaps you aren’t such a loser after all, because there’s a universe out there where you’re awesome and everyone loves you.
Some of these universes are very similar – your car might be blue instead of red, or you might prefer a straight mocha to a macchiato. But some are very different indeed. Think of any possible scenario and there’s a universe where that happened, or is happening. There’s a universe where the Romans were never truly threatened by anyone, and the entire world is one gigantic, glorious, hideous Roman Empire. There’s a universe where the Normans lost the battle of Hastings and we all still speak Anglo Saxon. There’s a universe where Elvis is still alive. There’s even a universe where Ed Milliband is the most successful British politician of all time. You get the idea – anything is possible. Anything that can happen, does happen, and this is never truer than within the concept of that currently omnipresent portmanteau, Brexit.
Imagine 2 tiny particles. They are twins, but one is always doing the opposite of the other. One is in a certain state, let’s call it “up”, and therefore the other is in a state of “down.” It doesn’t matter where these twins are in relation to each other, they could be next to each other, they could be on the other side of the galaxy, it doesn’t matter. When one is up, the other will be down.
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